Stumble is the right word.and I'm a newb so my report sux

my Buddy mike hasn't played since 1994. I played in ONE vintage event since 1995. So we both sleeved up my paradoxical brew and went.

first match was 5 color humans. I chain of vapored the thalia and key/vault both games.
post board I have 10 bounce spells so game 2 I just kept bouncing the taxes till I cast a timetwister
1-0

second game was a charbelcher deck. I just countered the charbelcher one game and pithing needle the second
2-0

at this point I'm WAY ahead of where I thought I'd be
round 3 was mentor. I really went off in this one and assembled key/vault early both games
3-0

round 4
a paradoxical outcome/storm deck. I hit the boarded in the chalice of the void game 2 and he was done.
4-0

round 5
no idea. I never saw enough of the deck
5-0

round 6
this is where it gets interesting. I had to play Joe Brennan on camera. me in my awesome old guy Harley/hawiian shirt... Him with a classic old guy pony tail.
game 1 I lost the die roll but went off in the first turn after casting an outcome and key/vault. Unfortunately, We had built Joes deck to play against but got hammered the night before instead of play testing. I didn't see enough of his deck to sideboard correctly and got mauled game 2. Game 3 was close but I died to a few mentor tokens/ flippy jace/time walk/time walk
now I'm 5-1 after a tight game with a great player so I felt pretty good

round 7
paired against Brian Kelly..crap. I'm a total scrub and I know the name
Game 1 I played my only "bad" game where I had 3 keys out with massive mana and only drew 1 card from my top... which got countered on the way back down.
Game 2 was rough.. I tinkered for myr ball in turn 1 but Brian was holding natures claim and 2 ancient grudge. oof. A buddy told me to ditch the mindbreak trap in my board for flusterstorm, but I didn't have any ... of course I lose to a flusterstorm holding mindbreak in my hand.

round 8 was against a dude I met at the old should tourney a few nights earlier. he was doing paradoxical charbelcher(?!?)
he tossed down a mana crypt, mana vault, and a mox. he went all in against my paradoxical and went FOW into pact of negation. I went full mana denial on him by needling the mox. eventually I combed off
I'm in 24th place with 1 round to go. not a bad run for a scrub.. but I feel like I lost to 2 great decks with very good pilots.

final round is against ravager shops
I key/vault early game 1
we sideboard and he breaks one of my sleeves while shuffling after. he apologizes a lot and I assure him its no problem. last round of the day anyway.
he gets out some taxes, ravagers, and a factory. I bounce a few but I need action at 4 life. end of turn I bounce a thorn so there only 1 tax and rip......tinker with vault in play!
I'm fetching tinker and see that some of my sideboard cards are upside down. I mention to him that it wasn't his fault the sleeve broke... "JUDGE!!!!!!"
I'd been playing for about 10 hours at this point and I couldn't believe it.
the judge came over, gave me a warning and told us to continue. I was so pissed I tilted bad. I didn't want to play not one more game. I scooped with tinker still resolving for the key.
I played game 3 I but I got taxed out.
I was more upset at myself for tilting so bad. I'm old enough that these things don't usually bother me, and I still feel like I did pretty well.
I only lost 1 game 1 all day and that was to Kelly.

my paradoxical list won't be in the top 16 but it sure was fun.

1 x Grim Monolith
1 x Lotus Petal
1 x Mana Crypt
1 x Mana Vault
1 x Memory Jar
1 x Mox Jet
1 x Mox Pearl
1 x Mox Ruby
1 x Mox Sapphire
4 x Sensei's Divining Top
1 x Sol Ring
1 x Time Vault
3 x Voltaic Key
4 x Mox Opal
1x black lotus
1 x Expedition Map

1 x Ancestral Recall
1 x Merchant Scroll
4 x Paradoxical outcome
1 x Time Walk
1 x Timetwister

4 x thoughtcast
1 x tezzeret the seeker
1 x mental misstep
1 x mstical tutor
4 x force of will
1x myr battlesphere
4 x chain of vapor
1 x tinker

2 x Scalding Tarn
4 x Seat of the Synod
2 x island
1 x Tolarian Academy
1 x Volcanic Island
1 x Wheel of Fortune

the sideboard was this but it seemed to suck:

4 needles
3 echoing truth
2 grafdigger cage
1 chalice of the void
2 repeal
1 mindbreak trap
2 mental misstep

edited: formatted the post a little to make it easier to read - Brass Man

Chris, thanks for the report, and congrats on your finish!

Nicely done. Glad you came out and ran well.

This report makes the event sound really fun, thanks for posting.
@elusive said:

I went full mana denial on him by needling the mox.

I feel the need to point out that this should not work. Pithing Needle doesn't prevent mana abilities from being activated.

@Aaron-Patten
totally correct.
I think I actually needled a mana vault.

@elusive It doesn't work on Mana Vault either. The untap effect is a triggered ability as opposed to an activated ability. To be fair, most copies were printed as though it were an activated ability.

@Aaron-Patten
lol
maybe a grim?
I have no idea.

Technically you can name whatever you want, including a mox or black lotus. It just doesn't do anything.

Thank you for the write up - it was entertaining and the deck is interesting. If you don't mind constructive criticism, I would recommend going back through and edit your post. It would make for an easier read.

I am also concerned about this:
@elusive said:

I'm fetching tinker and see that some of my sideboard cards are upside down. I mention to him that it wasn't his fault the sleeve broke... "JUDGE!!!!!!"
I'd been playing for about 10 hours at this point and I couldn't believe it.
the judge came over, gave me a warning and told us to continue. I was so pissed I tilted bad. I didn't want to play not one more game. I scooped with tinker still resolving for the key.

Calling a judge should not be tilt worthy. Players make mistakes, especially at the end of long tournaments, and judges know this. This is quite common in other formats and should be more common in Vintage. It is possible that the opponent was angle shooting, but it's also possible that he wanted a time extension while you fixed your deck to avoid a potential unintentional draw in game 3. The warning is because there is a potential for advantage - a card inserted upside down could be used to "mark" that card. It's a very common mistake and almost always unintentional, but this needs to be recorded. If it keeps on happening, it raises the probability that it's being done intentionally. This is all about preserving the integrity of the game, not punishing an honest mistake.

Congrats on your finish. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the event.

Totally agree.
looking back it was purely a result of hangover/no food all day. I don't think my opponent even knew I was upset, and I certainly wasn't upset with the judge that did indeed give us a time extension. I knew that the warning was meaningless with only 1 game left in the tourney. Before I went there I told myself that my opponents were all going to leave thinking I was the nicest guy they saw all day, win or lose. I think I lived up to it.

Side note,
the judges were all awesome. really good people with the difficult task of herding cats slinging unfamiliar cards.

I don't seem to have the ability to edit posts.

@chaosofslayer said:

Technically you can name whatever you want, including a mox or black lotus. It just doesn't do anything.

No—it does nothing...

@elusive said:

@Aaron-Patten
lol
maybe a grim?
I have no idea.

In any case you've done nothing wrong. It's as much his fault for not reading the card as it would be anyone else's. I hope I didn't seem to imply otherwise. Just meant to give a heads up for next time in case you're facing someone who would take advantage of the wasted Pithing Needle.

Thanks for writing the report - awesome finish

@ChubbyRain said:

Thank you for the write up - it was entertaining and the deck is interesting. If you don't mind constructive criticism, I would recommend going back through and edit your post. It would make for an easier read.

I am also concerned about this:
@elusive said:

I'm fetching tinker and see that some of my sideboard cards are upside down. I mention to him that it wasn't his fault the sleeve broke... "JUDGE!!!!!!"
I'd been playing for about 10 hours at this point and I couldn't believe it.
the judge came over, gave me a warning and told us to continue. I was so pissed I tilted bad. I didn't want to play not one more game. I scooped with tinker still resolving for the key.

Calling a judge should not be tilt worthy. Players make mistakes, especially at the end of long tournaments, and judges know this. This is quite common in other formats and should be more common in Vintage. It is possible that the opponent was angle shooting, but it's also possible that he wanted a time extension while you fixed your deck to avoid a potential unintentional draw in game 3. The warning is because there is a potential for advantage - a card inserted upside down could be used to "mark" that card. It's a very common mistake and almost always unintentional, but this needs to be recorded. If it keeps on happening, it raises the probability that it's being done intentionally. This is all about preserving the integrity of the game, not punishing an honest mistake.

Congrats on your finish. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the event.

@elusive said:

Totally agree.
looking back it was purely a result of hangover/no food all day. I don't think my opponent even knew I was upset, and I certainly wasn't upset with the judge that did indeed give us a time extension. I knew that the warning was meaningless with only 1 game left in the tourney. Before I went there I told myself that my opponents were all going to leave thinking I was the nicest guy they saw all day, win or lose. I think I lived up to it.

Side note,
the judges were all awesome. really good people with the difficult task of herding cats slinging unfamiliar cards.

I don't seem to have the ability to edit posts.

I was your final round opponent.

Going into our match, I think our small chit chat both established that we were pretty much ready to be done with a long but fun day of vintage. Regardless, I wanted to finish the day strong with as good of a performance as I could.

I do not recall apologizing that excessively with regards to your broken sleeve in game 1 of the final round, but since I am used to calling judges regularly for stuff like that, it's just my instinctive action to call and get that extra minute or so while you replaced your sleeve. Also, playing with these particular set of cards (vintage) just compels me to take extra care at all times.

With regards to our game 2 situation (the flipped sideboard cards), I called the judge once you mentioned that your sideboard cards in your deck were flipped around. Since I have never come across that situation personally until then, I called a judge instinctively to handle the situation. I do not recall the exact wording from the judge, but I was under the assumption that you received a warning and/or penalty and to continue with our match. My motive was to preserve the integrity of the game given the information I had at the time. Since I had no experience in the past with interacting with you outside of our match, I took what I felt was the right procedure (ie calling a judge).

From my perspective, after the judge came over and did his ruling, you just scooped mid-tinker, so I proceeded to game 3 as normal. If the judge let us proceed and you wanted to continue that game, then I would have been fine with it. Instead, we just proceeded to game 3, and the story continues.

I hope this clears up things from my end and perspective. Hopefully, I'll see you again next eternal weekend.

Yup.
you did nothing wrong at all.
I'm the idiot that tilted for no reason mid tinker. it didn't make me not have fun that day, and I never expected to be there anyway.
it would have been nice to put a paradoxical list into the top 16. where did you end up?

@elusive said:

Yup.
you did nothing wrong at all.
I'm the idiot that tilted for no reason mid tinker. it didn't make me not have fun that day, and I never expected to be there anyway.
it would have been nice to put a paradoxical list into the top 16. where did you end up?

I ended up 11th.

@ChubbyRain posted the decklist in another thread.

To the OP - could you explain a bit how you used Chalice out of the board? (I know it gets one mention in your report). Where you bringing it in expecting to bounce back to hand with your own Paradoxical Outcome, to allow you to play out your own moxen?

@sodoyouwearacape
that's exactly correct.
any time it was in my hand I dumped moxen and cast it for 0. it made all the bounce spells from the board better too because it effectively just killed whatever I bounced.
makes me wonder if engineered explosives would be better....hitting tokens, moxen, flipped delvers.

@elusive said:

@sodoyouwearacape
that's exactly correct.
any time it was in my hand I dumped moxen and cast it for 0. it made all the bounce spells from the board better too because it effectively just killed whatever I bounced.
makes me wonder if engineered explosives would be better....hitting tokens, moxen, flipped delvers.

Reminder, flipped cards now count as the CMC of their other side (so Delver would be a 1-drop and JVP a 2 drop). I favor EE due to it's ability to clear out multiple spheres.