What did Kari and Bill eat for dinner?

Ok, let's make some content. All content is good content.... Right? (About to find out.)

As I've mentioned several times on this site, Kari (my wife) and I hate doing the dishes. Yet we keep getting them dirty. About once each night in fact. Our solution is to play a Vintage magic match to decide who washes. We've been doing this for a while, but I thought why not keep a record of it. My plan is to just make a thread here and update it with a brief description of the meal, the mess it made, and the ensuing match... (Vintage Supper League?)

Well, dinner just got made. Here goes...


KARI 6 (aprox 17 dishes)
BILL 8 (aprox. 26 dishes)


Kari wins 2-0, Black Mentor beats White Eldrazi

last edited by Topical_Island

Vintage Dinner League
-streamed from a kitchen near you.
-Best of 3 courses

May 25, 2016

Tough one tonight guys... a ceramic casserole dish. Cheese. Baked on...

All that after I lost in 3 on a subtle misplay after playing pretty sharp through the whole match. I mulled to 5 in the final game - keeping a hand of Cruise, Force, Misstep, Mox Emerald, Emrakul... I guess maybe I should mull to 4 again there, but I doesn't feel like it's gonna get better. She keeps 7 but I pass on Missteping 2 Preordains (No way to win just trading resources after the Mull), then eventually win a counter war where I burn 2 Missteps and the Force pitching Cruise to stop her Ancestral. I still haven't drawn land. I keep topdecking. I haven't even played the Mox yet and my board looks hilariously empty after about 7 turns. Hers is full of land. Eventually I hit Library of Alexandria and try a Chalice set at 1, which she Forces and I'm fine with that. Then I find a fetchland. I tutor for Pernicious Deed, then land it, and I've stabilized. I settle in for a protracted war.

She's playing around Deed, and I'm crossing my fingers she doesn't find Jace. I actually cycle Decree of Pain to good effect again. (Killing Aegis of the Gods and a Priest, plus I draw the card... that's a 3 for 1 folks... that's an Ancestral.... Btw I played a Standstill right into a board full of her creatures in game two as well, then blew her out cycling Pain. She even had Force in had, but how do you Force Standstill when you have 2 creatures already on the board... and even if she does she's giving me a 2 for 1 followed by uncounterable 3 for 1, that can't be winning either. In game 2 I just took the 4 damage next turn before untapping and sweeping the board without triggering Standstill... Decree of Pain might be something we want to look into?)

But then in game 3, she finds Jace, and I find a way to lose. The final sequence is... Deed has been blown and she has less than 20 cards in her library. She has Jace and is fate-sealing. I have 1 Factory hitting Jace so she can't ultimate me, but I can't kill Jace. If Jace dies, she will probably be next because I have just about everything else covered. I play a Standstill with Decay in hand. In response, she plays Priest, which I considered she might do... and then I look down and realize that to play Standstill I have tapped the Underground Sea and the Trop. The exact lands that I would have used to play Decay, because I'd been imagining playing it. I have another untapped Trop, and two Orchards and the Factory... To shoot the Priest at instant speed I have to give her a single token, which she can use to beat me to death if I keep attacking the Jace. Or I can keep the Factory back to block and watch as she ultimates me with Jace, fate-sealing away any other Factories that could save me. Or behind door number 3... I can wait a turn and break my own Standstill to decay the Priest, and die to fatal card disadvantage. I'm left with three losing lines. I briefly think fond thoughts of David Williams, then scoop... literally... I'm picking cheese goop out of dishwater.

On the upshot... I'm not so sure that some of my board cards aren't just better than some mainboard cards... so that's valuable info. Taking out Mana Drain for Decree of Pain... that seems like a solid Vintage play.

Also, Kari is playing really well right now. Full of confidence after her fist ever tourney and first ever top 8 finish.

last edited by Topical_Island

This is fun read. I'm sure there are legions of vintage players incredibly jealous of your nightly test partner. Well done and kudos to you both!

Not to mention the double tech of dropping a new deck on her, during a night of a seven course meal! Pick your spots wisely.

last edited by joshuabrooks

@joshuabrooks Shhhhh, I'm secretly putting together some kind of Hatebear for this Saturday. Home made pasta sauce?... No way. That is gonna be a mess. I am not cleaning that stuff.

This is fun stuff - yay Vintage 4 Dishes! 😄

Domino's Pizza night= "Let me try my new Mono-Red Deck."
Homemade Indian Curry= "Dark Petition Storm= no mercy."

@joshuabrooks Exactly. I think the game might be to play one thing over and over, then on a messy night, drop the exact opposite on her. That's why Hatebears might be right. She has board for my Oath. But I don't think she has anything against uncounterable dudes...? I can't believe this is verging on a serious strategy discussion...

Watch her just show up that night with Eldrazi and wreck me. It would not surprise me at all if she were ghosting this thread the whole time.

@Topical_Island said:

@joshuabrooks I can't believe this is verging on a serious strategy discussion...

Messy dishes? I'd consider that a very serious meta 🙂

May 26, 2016

Victory!!! 2-0 and Pork Loin.

I had to run the OathStill again after last night's debacle. Game 1 took 40 minutes. Game 2 took 5 minutes. Then I took a nap.

Game 1 was the interesting one. My deck sucked... sort of. All I drew was removal and counters. I saw 1 Oath and zero Standstills and zero Mishra's Factories, in the top 30 cards or so, but I hung on, finding 4 Abrupt Decays, 3 Forces, 3 Missteps, 1 Flusterstorm, Balance, Decree of Pain (yeah, I mainboarded it... cheaty. At this point I'm pretty convinced that Pain is real, at least in this meta.) She would play drawing spells and get way ahead. Then I'd sweep the board and make some of the advantage back. It was pretty dumb. There were any number of turns where if she'd just had Jace, I would have just died. Eventually I even discarded Emrakul and shuffled all that removal back in... gross. It's the stuff I didn't want in the first place.

Eventually I played Standstill and was surprised to see it resolve. But I guess all she has that stops it is Force and she just didn't have one. I was at 8. She had a couple tokens in play, which I'd contributed to her so generously during my efforts to stay alive. But I had Pain in hand. I took 2 damage, untapped, took 2 more going to 4 life and cycled Pain on the end of her turn and she never really got close to killing me again. I eventually found Factory. She had to break Standstill, and I countered whatever it was. Pyromancer maybe? Then I dropped Oath and finished her with Monsters.

Game 2 the Monsters just got loose...

In other news, Kari makes this home made Pesto Sauce from Kale, Cashews, and Cilantro... it's great. Talk about a combo. I should post the recipe for it hidden in a bunch of decklists and see if anyone notices.

Or just post the recipe period? I feel like fully half of vintage is the food you eat after/during and before tournaments.

I'm really enjoying reading these write ups. Thanks!

@Khahan I'm glad. I'm having a lot of fun doing them. It's silly and amusing if nothing else.

I tried Hatebears and home made pizza tonight, and one of them was really good.

I played vintage white weenie for years. It was my thing, which is to say that I was kinda an idiot. I ran Pump-Knights, Null Rod, Mother of Runes, Wasteland, Armageddon, and splashed blue for Time Walk, Ancestral, and Psionic Blast to finish... so basically that deck sucked. But I tried for years to make that pet deck work. I lost to blue decks. A lot.

So it was pretty great when I won game 1 tonight, totally destroying the mana base of Kari's Gush/Mentor Deck... Gush protects you from Wasteland? Please... don't make me laugh. 3 Wastes, 2 Phyrexian Revokers, 1 Thalia, 1 Spirit of the Labyrinth, 1 Vyrn Wingmare later... I was getting that malevolent, nostalgic, righteous feeling. Like when you hear that the kid who bullied you all through elementary school just got caught embezzling money or something... aww... that's really too bad.

So that was sweet. But then I was rudely reminded that Kari's actually good at this, and so is her deck. She's also has had an actual sideboard against Fishy decks since before we played in the Team Serious Open.

She has two mainboard Swords already, and has a Bolt in the side as well as cleverly (her idea not mine) boarding in "meat" against hatebears. In come 3 Containment Priests, and 1 Aegis of the Gods. A meat shield. Those were big problems for me. They stalled me out in Game 2 and she landed a Mentor eventually and I couldn't beat it.

Game three was pretty interesting to me actually, though I lost and it took about 3 minutes in total. I lead on Gitaxian Probe and see that I'm about to die. Kari is holding - Mentor, Lotus, Mox Emerald, Tundra, Preordain, Preordain... So that's a good hand. I'm holding - Thalia, Null Rod, Misstep, Vyrn Wingmare, Plains, Plains, and no longer held the Probe which was resolving...

So as I was leaning that I was about to wash dishes, it dawned on me that Gitaxian Probe is really nice in Hatebears for this reason. Now at least if I drew a Mox I would know to play Null Rod immediately, and I would very likely win the game. On the other hand, if you hypothetically replaced the Probe in my opening hand with a Mox, absent the look at Kari's hand, I would certainly just play Thalia, the thing I always play if I can against an unknown hand. And after her first turn I would be facing her board of Land, Mox, Mentor and be awaiting the creation of tokens off the Preordains... I would lose. It seems like much of Hatebear is just playing the critical hate right away on turn one. If you hit the thing that beats their hand, you probably win. If they get out and can start squirming around your hate, you probably lose. A peak at their hand seems very valuable.

So probe resolves, I draw a card hoping for mana, see a meager Plains (careful what you wish for). Then I scoop and go clean the baking sheet that Kari used to make the pizza on. She makes it on Nan Bread, which is really light and good. Not a lot of dishes tonight... so a good night to test Hatebears. What should I test next?

last edited by Topical_Island

Test Landstill, Bomberman 😄 or ANT if not, then Combo Elves?

Can't begin to express the awesomeness of this thread.

I'm really glad you all seem to like it. We went to a cookout yesterday, so even though we played a bit, it wasn't for keeps. Tonight though... a showdown over leftovers! Mashed potatoes!... dun dun dunnnn!

Big win tonight folks. For giggles we decided to switch decks, and I beat her 2-1 with her own deck.

Game 1 I got way ahead and lost, because I was playing Mentor and she was playing OathStill. Mishra's Factory is a pain. It really slows down Mentor beats, believe it or not. So she blunted my assault and eventually dropped Oath and Grisselbranded me to death.

Game 2 was great for me. I drew all my Oath hate, and she drew nothing but the Oath half of the Oath/Standstill hybrid. Eventually I landed Jace and was probably up 20 cards when it finally ended.

Game 3 was weird and awesome. These are the type of games that keep me coming back for more. She kept 7 but seemed choked on Mana, so right there you know there's some powerful stuff waiting in hand. She misses a land drop, plays Standstill, which I Force. Then Vamps on her. I'm busy durdling around with preordains, but I have another Force with Gush or Dig to pitch as well as a Nature's Claim, but don't have a Misstep, so I don't really have to think about whether to counter Vamp. I let it resolve. I don't know about you, but even when I know I shouldn't be countering one of the black tutors, I always wonder what the other person's getting. I love going for goofy things like Strip Mine or Library of Alexandria or Abrupt Decay. Stuff that can't be countered.

Kari seemingly goes for Black Lotus. Which can be countered. I think about it. She has Underground Sea, Mox Sapphire, and Mishra's Factory on the board. No green, so at this point I'm sure that what she needs is mana. So I Force the Lotus pitching Gush. She Flusterstorms my Force, which certainly tells me I'm on the right track. But at this point I've nothing to say about it. Lotus resolves.

But then she passes the turn. She has Lotus and Factory untapped, Sea and Mox Saph are tapped. I'm surprised to not see her play an Oath there, but then again, if she had Oath she would have gone for Forbidden Orchard. She would play Jace if she had it. She must be just short on a Dig or a Treasure Cruise.

On my turn I draw Brainstorm, and hit Strip Mine. I Strip her Sea, then aim Nature's Claim at the Lotus.

Her board never recovers. I hit my Dig a few turns later, find another Force and Jace. She eventually finds Oath with an Orchard, but it's way to late. I Force for the third time in the game and Oath hits the graveyard. Now I'm drawing a ton of cards. I hit one of the two Mentors left in after boarding. Then kill her on the next turn on an insane chain of spells, which involves a 4th Force countering my own Gush to make lethal.

I also got some awesome mashed potatoes, and Kari randomly decided to poach a fish and make sauce that involves turmeric. That was great.

Thread best.

Also how do you guys make food every night? Impressive.

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